About this time last year, I decided to create something a bit different and a bit more permanent on our blackboard wall in the kitchen . . . See blog post from March 12, 2018.
I started drawing one shelf, then two . . . Then a few curve balls got thrown Max and my way, causing our current plans and way of living to be put on hold.
2018 was a very stressful, rough and challenging year. We had to re-think holiday plans, our newly set goals, our renovation timeline was scrapped, I went back to working part-time, Max started a new job, we simplified our life, we questioned our decision to move back to the country and we relied heavily on our parents for guidance and emotional support.
I personally struggled with trying to figure out how to manage the mammoth list of things we needed to fix/renovate around the home as well as with my own need to try and fix our lives . . . All the time wishing we could go back to how it had been.
I struggled with anxiety and depression.
I was harbouring a lot of hate and anger.
As a very private person, I was receding into myself and putting on that brave face of “everything is A-OK” . . . When I should have been asking for help. I was exhausted.
. . .
Then, I realised the things I had to be thankful for. For what I have that others do not:
I have an amazing husband,
I live in a beautiful part of the world with two sets of parents less than 10 minutes down the road, who have shown unwavering love and support,
I have very close family and friends,
I have a home, providing a safe roof over my head,
I have my physical health and I am able to work,
I have a job, which I love,
I have vision and creativity,
I love a challenge,
I have a beautiful and affectionate (yet slightly crazy) cat,
+ many many more . . .
. . .
It has taken me almost a year to get to this point, but today was what I hope is a turning point. Signified by my need to complete the third and final shelf on my blackboard wall.
